I gave some welcoming remarks at an event earlier. I didn’t really think much about it, faithful to the habit of not giving a fuck. People do not really remember what we say. Pointless, therefore, to ruminate. Next time I’ll get a timer, a person who will remind me. Having to think about time can damage RHYTHM, which is almost as important as the CONTENT itself.

But overall, not very productive today; but hey, one objective met is better than no objective met. I should be happy. I could strive for more tomorrow, which I think I will. Maybe read an article or three.

The hardest workers get the most rewards. Which would be a great thing if the reward they get is the reward they want. It’s not the same if the reward you get is not the reward you will enjoy. If getting a huge amount of money doing something you don’t like pleases you, then doing that thing is worth it. So my problem at this point is that I do not find pleasure in most of the rewards I get by being productive, mainly, recognition. I’m more interested in financial rewards, not because of the money itself, but because I like to keep a numeric score. My favorite video game has always been TAIPAN. It’s part of my shadow that I probably should integrate rather than reject.

I don’t enjoy science or administrative work as much as some people do. But at least I get the chance of doing things that are unique. Classes are often interesting, especially with very bright students. Making simple discoveries in science is itself a nice thing. It might have pleased me to remain a computer scientist; I tend to regret choosing biology, and then choosing a research career. But then again, maybe this is the best place. I don’t quite agree with that when I’m tired and frustrated.

Recall so as not to forget:

1. Don’t give a fuck.
2. Count 54321.
3. Ask: What if I win?
4. Ask: How can I do magis here?

These habits ordinarily presume that I have a good idea what the will of God is. That’s because the ordinary will of God is in the ordinary things comprising the usual roles and responsibilities. Occasionally that will is not clear, or it might require heroic action. And almost always, whether considering the will of God or the will of one’s boss, they are not comfortable for oneself. The 4th in particular proposes that I can always do more and better in whatever I do and for the glory of God (“magis” is the motto of the Ateneo De Manila University, a Jesuit school.). Doing better often means going out of one’s comfort zone, comfort methods, comfort standards.

I do not question the standards of my profession even if practitioners don’t see these standards in the same way. This is consistent with having values arranged in a personalized hierarchy. There is no question that being the best in one’s profession is a good thing, but that could pale side by side against being the best at running a family and raising children.

Perhaps in the end what is really important is that a person finds himself, and becomes genuine and truly expresses his values. In the end, that’s what makes destiny, and any other way of acting is living a half life. I’m perfectly OK with the idea that I will never be a great scientist, but at least I should strive to not be a bad one, and perhaps a very good scientist-administrator, and scientist-communicator. Most people could be among the best in these “hyphenated” fields, especially when they are already in the top quartile of the hyphenated components.